A dude barely in charge of anything

Hollywood and Bollywood stress: this world is divided in good guys and baddies. There is always one guy who considers himself to be a hero fighting a world of really bad dudes. This guy will round-up the really bad dudes and undocumented aliens in his tinsel town – saving his fake world.

It is a sorry state of affairs and the union, when people can not distinguish between show-biz and reality. Now aliens like E.T. and Alf – who undoubtedly forgot to pack a legal US visa and lots of other documents showing they were entitled to stay in the Dumb Deal’s Ga-Ga Land – are no longer welcome in the Dumb Deal’s Ga-Ga land. Same goes for any other undocumented person – as well as a great many with legal documents.

By the way, how come nobody noticed how Alf’s tuft occasionally resembles the Bad Dude’s one? Might these two be related? Anybody bothered to check the legality of the Dumb Deal’s paperwork?

It’s just that there are so many questions about the current occupation of the White House. People are now tweeting asking where some envelope containing Hillary Clinton’s name is.

The Washington Post’s Mr Robinson is left wondering, if the guy who’s currently occupying the White House actually knows he’s president. There was this talk about “rounding up bad dudes” like an awful third-rate copy of Raw Hide involving the US Army.
As usual, the Bad Dude’s administration contradicted their CEO’s statement.

Some Homeland Security Secretary told the world his president was indeed waffling about mass deportations and solutions, but these aren’t going to happen and there will be no military operations against aliens. The Bad Dude’s favourite Spice Grrll also helped clarify things. His CEO has not managed English grammar yet and used the adjective “military” when this CEO means “non-military”. His CEO has not yet managed to distinguish between particles, adjectives, nouns, gerunds, past tense and wishful thinking – for a start.

Mr Robinson poses an interesting question: is this president “fully engaged” into issues? Guess so: he’s off playing golf a lot. During his election, the Dumb Deal pointed out former President Obama played golf too often. Now he’s occupying the White House, this Dumb Deal goes off playing golf – more often than former President Obama. So the guy’s certainly fully engaged with something somewhere each weekend.

Like Hans Brinker, the Bad Dude and his Spice Grrll are also trying to put fingers into a dam-burst of leaks. As any Dutch person can explain: this is not the way to save dams from bursting. But hey: when one has not managed English grammar yet, one is entitled to bed-time stories.

The Bad Dude and his Spice Grrll suspect their own employees of leaking? Employees are now regularly called into an office. They have to hand over their phones, so these can be vetted. Of course, none of the employees were chatting daily to the media – or Putin.

So in desperation, the Dumb Deal now accuses former President Obama of being behind protests AND leaks. The Round-Up-Bad-Dudes does so publicly, in an interview with Fox and Friends. For as he doesn’t dare show up at White House correspondent dinners, he has to use friendly channels to launch fake news and alternative facts.

This particular blot on the landscape also announced he will personally address an issue close to his heart. Being in denial about climate change and the precarious state of the environment and the one earth we share, he intends to change the Waters of the United States rule. Likely as a kick-back to some folks who helped him to realise his occupation of the White House through donating money. Ms DeVos can’t be the only one wanting returns on donations – sorry: investments.

As the Washington Post states, a review and reconsideration of the Waters of the United States rule could make it easier for agricultural and development interests to drain wetlands and small streams. It could also have a great impact on a critical habitat for aquatic species and migratory birds.

So the Bad Dude is addressing lots of issues,while ensuring the destruction of earh. Meanwhile, his administration is apparently already faking accounts, cooking the books, heavily into alternative facts. At least, Ms Rampell points this out in an underpinned article.

But no worry: soon all media will be banned from asking critical questions, noticing embarrassing re-hashes of facts, or reporting on outright lies. There will be only one source left for all the news concerning the Dumb Deal and his administration containing so mucho bad hombres. This unique source will be the one and only Dumb Deal Bad Dude himself. But then, he’s the hero of his own non-reality show in which he saves his world.  .

Does he know he’s president?
Sean Spicer spins
Obama accused in interview with Fox and Friends
Rollback of Obama Waters of the United States rule
Trump administration already cooking the books
No sources

PS: Mr DT president, in case you’re interested, of course my blog’s up for sales – at a price. Yes, I know: it’s still not nasty enough. I’m working on things.


About Kate

Multilingual arts & culture journalist, blogger, columnist, writer and translator. Contributor to international (news) media. 2014 winning columnist Gentse Schrijversdagen, Gand, Belgium.
This entry was posted in Comments, Current Affairs, Politics and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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