Brain-wave: a brain-transplant!

Okay: it’s official! The White House admitted Trump lied about phone-calls. No calls from Boy Scouts nor Mexican Presidents. Worse: Trump had a brainwave. He’s going for a brain-transplant.

That’s official too. He admitted to being so stupid, he needs a brain-transplant. Or rather, he needs loads of extremely intelligent people to migrate to the US. Not so-called unskilled workers who may be “unable to master English”. He already ticks those boxes and more grandly, hugely, mega-super-size.

So guess what? To ensure Trump gets all the extra brain-cells he so obviously needs, he’s going to shake up US immigration rules and green-card roulette. Too bad for Gerard Depardieu: no green-card, no Andie MacDowell. Too bad for the Kallstadt Drumpfs or Christs, even some MacLeods.

No Drumpfs, nor Christs, nor MacLeods?

The Drumpfs cultivated an extremely small vineyard in Kallstadt, Germany. The Christs lived in the same village, but what exactly Elizabeth Christ did for a living is unclear, though her father was the village tinker.

Mary Ann MacLeod was a fisherman’s daughter who migrated from the Hebrides and spoke Gaelic as her first language. On arrival in the USA, she did have some money in her pocket, but lived with her sister and brother-in-law. She managed to find work as a domestic servant.

All these people who figure in Trump’s family tree, did not have American English as their first language and were of course, unskilled labourers.

Trump with immigration overhaul cronies

Had Trump’s proposed reshuffle of immigration rules been in place, they would have found immigration into the US even more difficult than it already was. For those suspected of being ill were not allowed into the US. As for naturalization: there were already many discriminating restrictions in place.

Now, in the 21st century, a good command of English before arrival, will become one of Trump’s daft new rules. As journalists stated: so it impossible to learn American English after arrival?

Worse: what about the command of American English shown by one Mr. Covfefe-par-excellence? What about his command of other elementary skills? His geography is hazy, as is history and a lot more. His skills in counting crowds, followers, popularity are dodgy at best. His trust in voodoo economics to clinch budgets may prove fatal. As for his grasp of Climate Change, clean energy, human rights, ethics and any other subject: totally denied or totally not there.

Trump’s White House declined to comment on a speedy deportation of their CEO. They remained mute and mum. Likely, the family may want to migrate to Russia in the near or distant future. Provided Putin has not grown utterly sick and tired of not getting what he wants, after investing so much energy and effort in getting Trump into what Trump calls a real dump.

Whatever: it remains official. The US is in need of an urgent import of wealthy and super-intelligent people. For its CEO likes showing off on a daily basis, how much in need he is of a brain-transplant. And even if people tick all the boxes he requires, this PT may yet conclude, enough is enough of a brainwave and decide to cap legal immigration by more than his proposed 50%.

Feeling welcome, anybody?

Immigration to the US
US Naturalization in the 18th century
US Naturalization Act of 1790
US Naturalization Act of 1870


About Kate

Multilingual arts & culture journalist, blogger, columnist, writer and translator. Contributor to international (news) media. 2014 winning columnist Gentse Schrijversdagen, Gand, Belgium.
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